KEVIN

"I don't want to go to school today mum."

Mrs. Pratt looked across the breakfast table at her son, who was slowly eating his Weetabix. "Whyever not son? Isn't it rugby practice today?"

"Yeah."

"I thought that was your favourite?"

"It *is* mum, but it's the taking a shower with the rest of the lads afterwards..."

"Oh?"

"I dunno mum, I just don't feel right in there, I don't think I quite fit in with the rest of the boys."

Mrs. Pratt gave her son a hug. "Now now, what makes you think that?"

"Well mum, it's....er....the other boys are like.....their voices are getting lower....they're growing hair in......places and they're.....talking about *girls* all the time!"

"Ah, well you see son, when boys get to a....certain age, they go through...well, changes."

"But I'm not changing mum. I'm the same as I've always been."

"Yes well, son, you see..."

"I mean, I don't think about girls at *all*."

"Son, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you."

Her son looked at her worriedly. "There is?"

Mrs. Pratt sighed. "Yes son. Your dad wasn't a brave sea captain tossed overboard by foul seamen."

"He wasn't?"

"No son."

"Was it Mr. Fornby, the milkman?"

"no."

"Mr. Farnsworth, owner of the local amusement park?"

"no."

"Elvis?"

"Just shut up and listen son. This is important."

"Sorry mum."

"That's alright son, this is difficult for me and it's probably a lot more difficult for *you*."

Her son slumped in his seat. "So what is it mum?"

"You're adopted."

"Oh..."

"And...I don't know quite how to say this son..."

"What?" he asked, his mouth trembling.

"Kevin. You're a Sontaran."

Kevin's face brightened. "Oh. That'd explain the leathery skin?"

"Yes son."

"And why I've only got two fingers on each hand?"

"Yes."

"And why I was the only five foot six inch tall boy at primary school?"

"Yes Kevin."

"And the alopecia?"

"That as well."

"And why I have to eat my Weetabix through a straw in the back of my neck?"

"Yes, that too."

"Is that why I don't have a..."

"No, that's because you're a clone Kevin. Clones don't need genitalia."

Kevin smiled. "Well that explains *everything* then. I was worried there for a bit, I was beginning to think there was something *wrong* with me!"